Bollywood or Bust

Hey there, yes you have probably guessed it. I am a star. I have set blinding light to the flame that will define my scorching ascent to stardom over the coming months. I have started a journey that will become a legend. I was an extra in a Bollywood movie.

Cool huh?! I arrived in Mumbai on Wednesday morning for my first of two nights before getting the train down to Goa on the Friday. I had literally just got out of the taxi when a guy, amusingly enough called Charlton: 'Casting Agent for Foreign Models', stopped me in the street and asked me if I wanted to be an extra in a Bollywood film. Damn straight!! (My initial reaction, as with any random approach in India is to say 'No thank you, please f#$% off'.... I changed my mind pretty quickly). I couldn't believe it, only one full day in Mumbai and I was filling it by being in a Bollywood film!

The film's called Housefull and is mainly set in London (hence the westerners wanted), it's supposed to be a pretty big release. I and about 40 other westerners were picked up from McDonalds and driven to about an hour out of Mumbai to (I kid you not) Filmistan Studios. There we were summarily told to disrobe and dress ourselves in a range or sublime and ridiculous outfits... the girls were all forced into tiny miniskirts whereas us boys were given a mish mash of early 80s Oxfam rejections (I wondered where all the clothes go that charity shops don't want... now I know). I was allowed to keep my brown linen shirt and forced to add beige chinos, a grey waistcoat and shiny black leather shoes which fitted well but had about two and a half inches extra toe space. I looked like a ridiculous Buster Keaton impersonator.

At about 1 we were called to set, there we were faced with that singular monstrosity that is the Bollywood interpretation of a London club. There was a massive wall of lightbulbs in the shape of the Union Jack, a troup of London lady dancers all dressed like the whores that London girls are and of course the obligatory mix of Indians and Westerners in cocktail dresses and waistcoats... for a moment there I could close my eyes and smell the bacon, it was wonderful.

I'm waffling, sorry, basically the day proceeded, they were shooting a dance scene with the male and female leads, both famous bollywood stars (check the link). They were supported by the aforementioned scantily clad uk local dancers (mostly aussie girls working in Mumbai on 6 month contracts) who were in turn supported by us in the background. There were lots of takes with no one shot taking more than 15-20 seconds.... all we really had to do was dance. I made the bright move of partnering myself with a beautiful tall blonde Canadian girl who I am hoping a) eclipsed my terrible dancing and b) I think guaranteed me at least a couple of seconds screen time (Catherine, if you are reading this, your dance moves still haunt me!)

We danced and danced and danced till 9pm when we were finally released... I loved every minute of it... probably the most fun I've had so far this trip, and we got paid for it! 500rs, equivalent to one nights accomodation, thank you Bollywood! I was really sad to leave Mumbai and I will most definately return, it seemed, in the short time that I was there, to be a really cool place and I felt far more at home there than anywhere else that I have been in India so far... that said I have just arrived in Palolem, Goa and am staying in a little hut overlooking a beautiful quiet bay... I think I may have found another home away from home... I'll post soon with more details aimed at making you hate me x